For a long time I couldn't picture my future as a trans person. I was nearly 40 when I came out as trans (more than 20 years after my first journey out of the closet). I was an established government attorney. I had a wonderful partner and two young children and I didn't want to imagine the upheaval that such a transition would cause. It was overwhelming and seemed selfish to even consider. So for many years I fought to keep the subconscious knowledge of my identity from bubbling to the surface. It worked for a while—until I began my journey to become a better parent. To do so I had to know myself and love myself. How could I teach my children they were beautiful inside and out when I was staying up at night convincing myself to hide the part of me that others might not understand? For the first time I cautiously started to imagine the future I could have if only I took my own advice.